BE THANKFUL

BE THANKFUL

Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire. If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful when you don't know something, for it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times. During those times you grow.

Be thankful for your limitations, because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for your mistakes. They will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when you're tired and weary, because it means you've made a difference.

It's easy to be thankful for the good things.

A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are also thankful for the setbacks.

Find a way to be thankful for your troubles, and they can become your blessings.

*** http://www.indianchild.com/thoughts_for_life.htm ***

A Dark and Stormy Night

They were together in the House.

Just the two of them.

It was a cold, dark, stormy night. The storm had come quickly

and

each time the thunder boomed he watched her jump.

She looked across the room and admired his strong appearance...and

wished that he would take her in his arms, comfort her and protect her

from the storm.

She wanted that...more than anything.

Suddenly, with a pop, the power went out... She screamed...

He raced to the sofa where she was cowering.

He didn't hesitate to pull her into his arms.

He knew this was a forbidden union and

expected her to pull back.

He was surprised when she didn't resist but instead clung to him.

The storm raged on...as did their growing passion And

there came a moment when each knew that they had to be together.

They knew it was wrong...

Their families would never understand... So consumed were

they in their passion that they heard no opening

of doors...just the faint click of a camera......

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Missing Husband

Missing Husband

A woman went to police station to file a report for her missing husband:

Woman: I lost my husband

Inspector: What is his height

Woman: I never noticed

Inspector: Slim or healthy

Woman Not slim can be healthy

Inspector: Color of eyes

Woman: Never noticed

Inspector: Color of hair

Woman: Should be black

Inspector: What was he wearing

Woman: I don't remember exactly

Inspector: Was somebody with him ?????????

Woman: Yes my Labrador dog (Romeo), tied with a golden chain, height 30 inches, healthy, blue eyes, blackish brown hair, his left foot thumb nail is slightly broken, he never barks, wearing a golden belt studded with blue balls, he likes non veg food, we eat together, we jog together.

The woman started crying

Inspector: Let's search for the dog first!!!!!!! !!!!!!

The HR in You

HOW TO RECRUIT THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THE JOB?

Put about 100 bricks in some Particular order in a closed Room with an Open window.

Then send 2 or 3 candidates in

The room and close the door.

Leave them alone and come back

After 6 hours and then analyze

The situation.

If they are counting the

Bricks.

Put them in the accounts

Department.

If they are recounting them..

Put them in auditing ..

If they have messed up the

Whole place with the bricks.

Put them in engineering.

If they are arranging the

Bricks in some strange order.

Put them in planning.

If they are throwing the

Bricks at each other.

Put them in operations .

If they are sleeping.

Put them in security.

If they have broken the bricks

Into pieces.

Put them in information

Technology.

If they are sitting idle.

Put them in human resources.

If they say they have tried

Different combinations, yet

Not a brick has

Been moved. Put them in sales.

If they have already left for

The day.

Put them in marketing...

If they are staring out of the

Window.

Put them on strategic

Planning..

And then last but not least.

If they are talking to each

Other and not a single brick

Has been

Moved.

Congratulate them and put them

In Top management

Jack and Diane - A Love Story

They'd known each other since their school days and had since become the

best of friends. They shared everything and anything and spent lots of time

together in and after school. But the friendship never developed into

anything deeper.

Diane kept a secret: her admiration and love for Jack. She had her reasons

for keeping it a secret. FEAR. Fear of rejection... fear that he might not

feel the same... fear that he might not want to be her best friend

anymore... fear of losing someone that she could always find comfort in. At

least if she kept her feelings to herself she would still be able to spend

time with him... and hopefully, he would be the one to tell her how he

felt towards her.

Time passed, and soon school was over.

Jack and Diane went separate ways. Jack continued his studies overseas,

while Diane got herself a job. They still kept in touch though... penned

letters, sent each other photographs, and mailed each other gifts. Diane

longed for Jack to be back.

She decided that she would tell him her feelings once he got back.

And then out of the blue... the mails from Jack stopped coming. Diane wrote

to him, but there was never a reply. Where was he? What happened? Lots of

questions ran through her mind...

Two years passed and Diane was still hopeful that Jack would come back... or

at least send her a note. And then her prayers were answered. One mid-August

day, she received a note from Jack. It said:

Diane, I have a surprise for you. I'm flying over. Meet me at the airport.

My flight comes in at 4pm on Saturday. I can't wait to see you again!

There's something I need to tell you, something I've been keeping inside all

this time.

Love & Kisses,

Jack

Diane's fingers shook as she read the note. Her heart soared. Diane was

thrilled. Love and kisses... it meant a lot for a lady who had waited so

long for those words. She was ecstatic!

The day arrived, and Diane waited anxiously for Jack. She had slipped into

her best dress, and did her best to look as pretty as she could.

She looked around... but Jack was nowhere in sight. She waited and waited,

wondering what she would say to Jack when he got there, what their meeting

would be like. Would there be love in his eyes? Would there be longing, bred

from years of separation and hiding each others' feelings?

Oh, how she longed to see him! How she longed to throw her arms around him

and tell him she was a fool to ever let him go without ever telling him how

she felt! And she was certain Jack felt it too. There was always a certain

magic about them when they were together.

Then a lady in a sexy, tight, blue dress approached her. She had a very

concerned look on her face, "Hi! I'm Lynn, a friend of Jack. Are you Diane?"

she asked. Diane just nodded her head.

"I'm afraid I... I have bad news for you. Jack is not coming... he won't be

coming back anymore," said the lady, placing a hand on Diane's shoulder.

Diane shook her head in confusion. She felt her heart constrict.

What could possibly have happened? Diane felt an overwhelming fear inside

her. Her hands turned cold. Her voice shook as she asked:

"Where... where's Jack? What happened to him? Please tell me..."

Diane begged the lady...

The lady looked intently at Diane... and then she gave Diane a nudge on the

shoulder and said...

"HOY GAGA! IT'S ME, JACK... JACKILYN!! Don't you remember me?! Im so beautiful now, huh?! It's me, sister!

KAKALOKA KAH HUH!! TEKA, SANDALI... MEET MY 'PAPA'!!"

Cake or Bed

WHICH WOULD U CHOOSE?

CAKE OR BED?????

A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A FOOTBALL GAME

WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS,

HONEY, COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY?

IT'S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW.

HE LOOKS AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY;

FIX THE LIGHT, NOW?

DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE A G.E. LOGO PRINTED ON MY FOREHEAD?

I DON'T THINK SO!

THE WIFE ASKS, WELL THEN, COULD YOU FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR?

IT WON'T CLOSE RIGHT.

TO WHICH HE REPLIED, FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR?

DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE WESTINGHOUSE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?

I DON'T THINK SO.

FINE, SHE SAYS THEN YOU COULD AT LEAST FIX THE STEPS TO THE FRONT

DOOR?

THEY'RE ABOUT TO BREAK.

I'M NOT A DAMN CARPENTER AND I DON'T WANT TO FIX STEPS, HE SAYS.

DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE ACE HARDWARE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?

I DON'T THINK SO.

I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU.

I'M GOING TO THE BAR!!!

SO HE GOES TO THE BAR AND DRINKS FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS. HE STARTS TO

FEEL

GUILTY ABOUT HOW HE TREATED HIS WIFE, AND DECIDES TO GO HOME AND

HELP

OUT.

AS HE WALKS INTO THE HOUSE HE NOTICES THE STEPS ARE ALREADY FIXED.

AS HE ENTERS THE HOUSE, HE SEES THE HALL LIGHT IS WORKING.

AS HE GOES TO GET A BEER, HE NOTICES THE FRIDGE DOOR IS FIXED.

HONEY, HE ASKS, HOW'D ALL THIS GET FIXED?

SHE SAID, WELL, WHEN YOU LEFT I SAT OUTSIDE AND CRIED. JUST THEN A

NICE

YOUNG MAN ASKED ME WHAT WAS WRONG, AND I TOLD HIM. HE OFFERED TO DO

ALL

THE

REPAIRS, AND ALL I HAD TO DO WAS EITHER GO TO BED WITH HIM OR BAKE A

CAKE.

HE SAID, SO WHAT KIND OF CAKE DID YOU BAKE HIM?

SHE REPLIED,

HELLOOOOO.......DO YOU SEE GOLDILOCKS WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?

I DON'T THINK SO!

The Teacher

A first-grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. The

teacher asked, "Harry, what is your problem?"

Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the

third-grade and I am smarter than she is! I think I should be in the

third-grade too!"

The teacher had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office. While

Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal

what the situation was. The principal told the teacher he would give the

boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go

back to the first-grade and behave. The teacher agreed. Harry was brought

in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

Harry: "9"

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"

Harry: "36"

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade

should know. The principal looks at the teacher and tells her, "I think

Harry can go to the third-grade." The teacher says to the principal, "Let

me ask him some questions?" The principal and Harry both agree.

Teacher: "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?

Harry: "Legs"

Teacher: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"

(The principal wondered, why does she ask such a question!)

Harry: "Pockets"

Teacher: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"

Harry: "Pants"

Teacher: "What's starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy,

oval,delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?" (The principal's eyes

open really wide and before he could stop the answer...)

Harry: "Coconut"

Teacher: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"

Harry: "Bubblegum"

Teacher: "What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a dog

do on three legs?" (The principal's eyes open really wide and before he

could stop the answer...)

Harry: "Shake hands"

Teacher: "Now I will ask some 'Who am I' sort of questions, okay?"

Harry: "Yup"

Teacher: "You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I

get wet before you do."

Harry: "Tent"

Teacher: "A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The

best man always has me first." (Principal was looking restless and bit

tense)

Harry: "Wedding Ring"

Teacher: "I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow

me, you feel good."

Harry: "Nose"

Teacher: "I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver."

Harry: "Arrow"

Teacher: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of

excitement?"

Harry: "Fire truck"

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put his ass

in the sixth-grade. I got the last ten Questions wrong myself.